Monica Bhide I wrote this post last year after the terror attacks on Mumbai. I have been back since and loved every minute of it. Today, I post this letter again, in memory of all those we lost but will never forget. On this day before Thanksgiving, I think we should all reflect on how much we all have to be thankful for.
My Mumbai
I was not born in Mumbai nor did I grow up there. I have never lived there for longer than a few months at a time. And yet, as a writer, it is the destination that I have written about the most. I have written love stories in yearning for the city’s seafood, I have written essays on my Mumbai-based idols, I have written pieces on how to shop in Chor-Bazaar, the Thieves Market, what to order at the Taj and the craziness of the fish markets. Mumbai has given me inspiration, it has given me dreams, life-long friends, a zest for learning the local language so I could understand all the bad words being hurled around by street kids, and it gave me the love of my life – my husband.
What is it about this city that makes everyone who lives there call it “Amchi Mumbai” (My Mumbai) and what is it about this city that makes people like me lose their hearts somewhere between the street food vendors and the glamorous shopping arcade at the Oberoi? The short answer is the people. They have a spirit and a love of life unlike I have ever seen. They have a determination to make their city thrive, no matter what.
It takes a lot to shake that determination and break that spirit. Last week, a group tried to do just that.
It was a horrifying ordeal for me as I know it was for many people who watched in stunned disbelief as this city of dreams burnt. I could barely believe what I was seeing or reading. This was an experience unlike any other I have ever had, including the terror I felt when I saw the planes hit on 9/11. This time we were being assaulted by information from all angles. It was not just the TV: my phone rang incessantly with text messages coming in, friends and strangers were posting updates on Twitter and my Facebook status page became a lifeline as I waited for friends in Mumbai to update their status to say that they were okay.
Learning via a friend’s Facebook update that an admired Indian food critic died while hiding under her bed in the Taj Hotel was horrid, but even more chilling was reading that her last text message to her family and friends said “They are in the bathroom.”
An American friend updated her status to say, “On 9/11 we were all New Yorkers, today we are all Indians.” A respected writer from London whose work I adore posted how he was grieving for the city of his birth.
Twitter messages went from being “Where are you?” to “Kill the bastards” to “local hospitals needing blood.” An Indian superstar, Amitabh Bachchan, posted on his blog that for the first time in his life, he slept with a loaded revolver under his pillow.
I kept obsessively reading the updates; where were my chef friends? I recalled with much joy the hours that I have spent at the Taj and Oberoi hotels. While it is true that a lot of tourists stay here, these places are also social nerve centers of the city. The coffee shops of these restaurants were typical places to meet friends, have a meal, and hang out at when all the other places in town shut down for the night. They are not just commercial establishments; they formed a critical part of the identity of the city.
I don’t know the how or the why they came but I can tell you why they chose Mumbai – it is India’s nerve center, much like New York City is to the US. There have often been comparisons made between the two major metros: they are the financial capitals – NYC has Wall Street, Mumbai has Dalal Street; they have major populations – Mumbai was 14 million at last count; they are melting pots of cultures and languages; they are home to major food establishments and businesses; they are cities where dreams come to build a life; they are places where even wanderers can find a home. There are differences: Mumbai is also the host for India’s movie industry, has strong religious undercurrents, and yet Mumbaikars are equal opportunity devotees and the Lord Ganesh offers his blessings to one and all, religion not withstanding; and monsoons still define the way of life.
Like NYC, it is a city that is known for it’s resilience – people dust themselves off and get right back to work after harrowing incidents, often saying “What is the choice?” Perhaps it is this spirit that the terrorists want to break. If they can break Mumbai, all the others will fall.
My 9-year-old watched the horror unfold along with us. After about an hour or two of listening to us ramble on and on about the terrifying ordeal and how hard thing
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must be there, he simply said, “Mom, what are you going to do to help? We are so far away, what can we do?”
Amazing, isn’t it, in all our wisdom all we did is to complain and cry and shake our heads at the horror of it all. And it took a 9-year-old, to shake us out of it. So to answer his question, what am I going to do? I am a writer. My job is to write. So my pledge is this – I will continue to write about this city of dreams as it not only survives this massacre but rises up to become even a stronger and greater metropolis.
I don’t use this spirit of the city as an excuse or a cliché – it is what it is. There is no denying it is true but this time, I hope we learn not to use the spirit of the city as an excuse not to do anything at all.
There is another side that I am seeing this time that I had not seen before – usually after attacks like these there is a hatred towards the Hindus or the Muslims or whoever is the off-flavor of the day. This time the anger is targeted at the government. The young people who I know and identify with are asking what the government was doing when all this was going on. In my opinion, this is radically different from what has happened before. There has always been a marked indifference towards the government with the people’s attitude being that the government was a burden they had to bear and that it was something that was thrust upon them. This time, I see a difference, and I hope that it takes momentum and that the bright, young Indians who can make a difference step into the political scene.
And in the true Mumbai spirit and style, the last update I got was from a Mumbaikar-friend based in NYC, “Monica, check out that travel website I told you about, they are offering amazing deals to Mumbai – want to go?”
share your thoughts. i certainly hope and pray the momentum only picks further – coz if we can shake the govt. to do something concrete and progressive, it is now!!
A beautifully written and thoughtful post, Monica. I have never been to Mumbai, but your words take me there. I do hope you will keep writing about it.
When I first heard the news about the horror going on, a quotation from the French philosopher and mathematician Blaize Pascal came to mind: “Men never do evil so cheerfully as when they do it in the name of religion.” Alas, it is true.
The only sure way to teach religious tolerance is to live it, so that our children and their children will learn the lesson. We don’t have to undermine our personal beliefs to do this. We just have to make sure any shred of “mine is better” is deleted from our conversation — even our tone of voice — when we speak of those who believe differently. And we must discuss that fact that, to those who aren’t adherents, the tenets of any religion can seem a little ridiculous. Or a lot ridiculous! I recall telling one son that anybody who believes a Jewish carpenter who lived 2,000 years ago was the son of God, born of a virgin and redeemer of the world really isn’t in a position to throw rocks at what anybody else believes. On the face of it, what a goofy premise!
At the national level, it would be wise to encourage targeted aid to the very poor nations where young boys are being inculcated into the most violent aspects of their faith through attendance at boarding schools. If local schools existed and parents could afford to keep their children at home, they would. Sometimes boys get sent to these schools because of the parent’s faith. More often, I think, they are enrolled because it’s a way for the child to be fed and get a modicum of education — neither of which would otherwise be available. What parent wouldn’t make the same choice? So we must work to open other doors.
Beautifully written, as always. I’ll share it with many friends.
Monica, you have made sense of the senseless, an excellent use of your gift with words and a way for those of us without a connection to Mumbai to feel connected and lend our support. Sending strength to you, your friends, and your loved ones.
Monica, you hit many nerves in this sincere article. The senseless destruction is eclipsed by the wonderful unity the people of Mumbai have shown in the face of this disaster. The way they have resisted succumbing to any religious or racial differences to hang the blame on shows what a rich melting pot is India. The new attitude towards the government and the demand for accountability again bolsters India’s position as the world’s largest democracy. I, for one, can’t wait to go there and I would not have hesitated even right after the attacks. That is exactly what I am advising some of my Harvard Business School friends who were planning to go there for winter break. Pass the word on!
Heart-wrenching and beautiful thoughts, Monica.
Monica, Your love letter to the city and its people is beautiful. Thank you for helping me “see” the city in a way I don’t get from straightforward news reports.
Monica – meaningful words, wonderfully expressed thoughts and a focus on the positive. It gives me hope.
its very execellent
Monica, what a beautiful piece of writing! I was horrified by the images on the TV and online, and I feel terrible for the poor families and friends of the victims.
What a lovely poetic piece of writing, Monica. As someone who has only read dreamy accounts of India, I can’t even begin to imagine a place I love so much and identify with dearly crumbling to its feet like this – and all the people with it. The fear, the horror, the sadness – awash like ocean waters. I used to feel like this when I heard of bus bombings in Israel, especially when attacks happened at the Western Wall in Jerusalem, my holy place, my poetic place. But this was so treacherous, so nasty, so mean-spirited. I am left wondering how people can be so cruel and full of hate.
Thank you for your wonderful words.
Have you heard yet what happened to the chefs that you knew? Thank you for presenting a portrait of a place that I’ve never been. I am so sorry that the people of this city — and the many people who were visiting it — went through this awful ordeal.
There was a riveting interview with a couple who were trapped in the hotel (the Taj, I think) on Charlie Rose last night (12.2.08). I assume you can see it on the show’s website. They spoke about how the staff protected them, and how one chef said to the wife “Don’t worry, I will die before you” and she said to him “but I don’t want you to die!” It’s well worth watching the clip to hear them speak about what it was like for each of them to assume that they would be killed shortly. When one of them said that they felt guilty that they survived when so many of the staff — and others — died, Mr. Rose asked them incredulously “You don’t really feel guilty, do you?” and they both said that yes, they did. It seemed obvious to me that they felt that it was unfair that they survived simply because they had the money to be guests rather than staff at the hotel. It’s too bad that this seemed to escape Mr. Rose.
A powerful piece that transcends news reporting. Thank you for sharing this.
Monica – What a beautiful ‘portrait’ you have created! It deserves to be shared in the best essay or opinion media slot in the U.S.
Monica .. I have been reading your food writing and always thought you a talented writer .. reading this shows me clearly just how brilliant your writing is. You have captured and expressed so beautifully – without hate, or judgment, maturely and succinctly. You are not just a beautiful writer, my dear friend: you are a beautiful person.
Monica, this post is very touching. The parallels of NYC & Mumbai are perfect and very obvious.
I am a Mumbaikar ….
Mumbai is a melting pot of all vibrant cultures of India. In the country as diverse as India. Mumbai is the place where anyone irrespective of his caste & creed, finanical status can co-exist in harmony. Mumbai is truly a city of folks,humans, who love life, chaos, sucess, challenge and most of all freedom. In Mumbai freedom of life, expression and choice is phenomenal.The city of dreams ,mumbai is often referred to as . Labels can be endless for city of dreams that is Mumbai.
And yes, that is why the terrorist targeted Mumbai. Small minds of terrorist cannot comprehend the meaning of freedom. Life of freedom which Mumbai offers.
No matter what…But such incidence cannot take away the spirit of Mumbai
Monica, this post is very touching. The parallels of NYC & Mumbai are perfect and very obvious.
I am a Mumbaikar ….
Mumbai is a melting pot of all vibrant cultures of India. In the country as diverse as India. Mumbai is the place where anyone irrespective of his caste & creed, finanical status can co-exist in harmony. Mumbai is truly a city of folks,humans, who love life, chaos, sucess, challenge and most of all freedom. In Mumbai freedom of life, expression and choice is phenomenal.The city of dreams ,mumbai is often referred to as . Labels can be endless for city of dreams that is Mumbai.
And yes, that is why the terrorist targeted Mumbai. Small minds of terrorist cannot comprehend the meaning of freedom. Life of freedom which Mumbai offers.
No matter what…But such incidence cannot take away the spirit of Mumbai
This was heart touching peice of article. We being here in india and you staying in states does’t seems much of a different.You are well connected with us as well as your roots. We are proud of you.
Great article Monica! Very well written.
The idea of a love letter to Mumbai, in this situation is such a powerful sentiment! Beautifully written, you have captured what we all feel but struggle to express and reading your words has helped give vent to some of our emotions too.
I can’t help but be struck with your description of how this experience has also differed in the accessiblity of immediate and instantenous information through the internet. At times like this, when so much confusion reigns at the scene and information filtered to relatives and friends far away can often be misleading creating more distress, this has proven to be such an effective alternative to bring news of loved ones that may be more specific, up-to-date and relevant or precise than watching TV reports. I am reminded of being glued to the TV during the Gulf Wars, 9/11, the London bombings watching every repeat of the news for hours at a stretch just for a wee bit of an update. Access to Facebook and similar sites would have gone a long way in alleviating some of the distress then of the uncertainty. But I can’t help but wonder also if it would not further add to the stress. I guess each situation is specific.
One of my close long term friends was a hard-core Mumbai-ite and through her I have seen the passion that runs in people of that city for it. I can imagine how devastating this must be, how much of a sense of violation they must feel and how it must heighten all their insecurities. I can fully appreciate your calling this a love letter. My friend and others like her would agree too! Thanks for sharing this with us Mon.